While Halloween is gaining in popularity in Germany, it has yet to make a noticeable impact in my neighborhood. For the 3rd year in a row, I have carved jack-o-lanterns and bought candy in the hope that some local kids would ring my bell and yell “Süßes oder Saueres!”, and for the third year in a row, we had no real trick or treaters. I say real because my girlfriend, knowing how disappointed I was with the turnout over the last 2 years, asked a neighbor to bring his kids over to knock on the door. That is almost as pathetic as your mom paying other kids to play with you. Plus, they didn’t have costumes on. It was quite obvious that they didn’t really undestand what they were doing. As I shoved candy into their hands, they gave their dad a look like, “why are we knocking on this stranger’s door and getting candy?”

Oh well. Maybe next year, I will put some trick-or-treater codes on our curb. Here are the jack-o-lanterns we made. At least none of them got stolen like last year.

Hallo Blahg Readers,
I haven’t updated in a while due to a few reasons:

1. I don’t have to. Nobody’s forcing me to do this.
2. I don’t have much of import to contribute to the blogosphere.
3. I’m busy.
4. All the really interesting stuff I could blog about, is much too salacious for such a wholesome family blog as this one. I don’t want to be responsible for corrupting your souls by subjecting you to all the Rock & Roll, hookers and blow, party party details going on in my life.

Marketing in Germany is weird. If you put an American flag on something, it sells. For example, American T-Shirts. Made in not the USA.

Hey! How about that economy?

More than you ever wanted to know about the hot dog and its many variations Basically about sausage and how it is served around the world.

Germany/Austria:

Sausages are often eaten on small paper plates with both mustard and ketchup, and with a small bun on the side. They are held in the fingers and dipped into both condiments before eating. Bread is eaten in between bites of the sausages, and is also dipped into the condiments. The most popular variant in Germany is the Currywurst: here the sausage is served in sliced bits and eaten with small throwaway wooden or plastic forks. In Austria, the term ‘hot dog’ refers to a hollowed out baguette bread, into which the sausage is then placed, along with condiments (like in France, without the cheese). Usually most of a vendor’s offering can be ordered as a hot dog. A similar form of hot dog placed inside of bread was popular in the former East Germany (and still in parts of the region today) under the name Ketwurst.

An 89-year-old granny caught slashing car tyres has been handed the painstaking punishment of knitting sweaters, the Kaiserslautern prosecutor’s office said on Friday.

She also reprimanded the judge for slouching and predicted colder weather while rubbing her elbow.

Sweet webcam with a view from inside the Large Hadron Collider (LHC).

😉

The Cow Is a Climate Bomb

Whether cattle are reared organically or with conventional farming methods, the end effect is bad for the environment, according to a new German consumer report. The agricultural lobby, however, is preventing politicians from tackling this massive source of greenhouse gas emissions.

I don’t really know what to think about this. I mean, I know the meat industry is bad, what with the beef hormones and the inhumane treatment and all that. And I understand the point about how the meat/agricultural industry contributes heavily to greenhouse gases. I get it. If you choose to be vegetarian for these reasons alone, I respect that.

The thing is, there is an accompanying picture to the article showing a cow with an inflatable plastic bag or tank strapped to its bag, which I assume is full of cow farts. Which, I can only further assume, means that there is some sort of hose or tube shoved up the poor cow’s ass. Now, assuming this is true, and hey, I’m not a climate expert doing research in the field, there had to be a period of trial and error developing the best functioning apparatus for catching cow farts but not the cow shit. I know, I’m over thinking this. The “installing” and maintenance of this “Furzempfänger“, if you will, is most probably a job that falls to the lowest of research assistants.

Research assistant job interview:
Scientist: So, what do you hope to accomplish in your research?
Candidate: I wanna help solve today’s problems for future generations to come.
Scientist: Do you like cows? *wink*
Candidate: Um, sure.
Scientist: Good, good.

Another thing, I think if this was discussed on CNN or the Nightly News with Brian Williams, they would probably say the word “flatulence” or “methane gas emissions” instead of what we all know what they are talking about: cow farts. I heard a discussion of this story on Deutschland Radio yesterday on the drive to work. This is a serious newscast, not your wacky morning zoo type of program. They used the word “Kuhfurze” and discussed how the volume of cow farts had to be measured and analyzed. Each time they said this, there was a very faint but noticeable quiver in the reporter’s composure. He wanted to laugh, but he held it together. Gut gemacht, Junge!

Richard Dawkins reads his email…

Apparently, German elected officials can be huge dicks when traveling to America.

The German consul in San Francisco has reportedly assailed a group of visiting parliamentarians for their bad behaviour, including one who even allegedly demanded “a negro” to push another wheelchair-bound MP.

You stay classy German politician. What? There’s more?

Beside apparently wanting the official trip to leave plenty of free time for sightseeing and shopping, the MPs cancelled a meeting with US officials in the Californian capital Sacramento at the last minute because they felt they had better things to do. Der Spiegel reported that the consulate was forced to lie to the Americans to save face.

God forbid you take an official trip on the taxpayer’s dime Zehncentstück and have to do a little bit of work.

Home energy costs hit Germans in pocketbook

The average 2.1-person German household spent €267 ($392) in July on energy, according to government estimates. The average German household paid €221 per month in 2006 and €172 per month in 2002 for the same usage.

That sounds about right. No more disposable income. I just put gas in my car and paid 61,41 EUR for 41,52 Liter of regular gas. With today’s exchange rate that is about $8.21 per gallon. Damn.

Here is a very interesting interview with Andrew J. Bacevich (Seriously, watch this!). They mention President Jimmy Carter’s “Malaise Speech” from 1977.

It’s a very powerful speech, I think, because President Carter says in that speech, oil, our dependence on oil, poses a looming threat to the country. If we act now, we may be able to fix this problem. If we don’t act now, we’re headed down a path in which not only will we become increasingly dependent upon foreign oil, but we will have opted for a false model of freedom. A freedom of materialism, a freedom of self-indulgence, a freedom of collective recklessness. And what the President was saying at the time was, we need to think about what we mean by freedom. We need to choose a definition of freedom which is anchored in truth, and the way to manifest that choice, is by addressing our energy problem.

He had a profound understanding of the dilemma facing the country in the post Vietnam period. And of course, he was completely hooted, derided, disregarded.

Wow, America had the chance to stand up and set an example, but they uh, well, just didn’t.

Until the energy crisis is solved, or we are all dead, whichever comes first, almost every conflict in the world is going to be about oil. That and water.

I was just listening to some Isaac Hayes yesterday and thinking what a musical genius he is, or rather, was. Then I just read that he died today. Hayes was first brought to my attention by my high school music teacher, Mr. Oliver. I always read about Hayes in anthologies about music from the 60a and 70s. Sure, he was known for the Theme from Shaft, but my all-time favorite is and always will be Walk On By.