I had an interesting New Year’s. At around noon M and I went to lunch in Mältzer’s with Angela and her new boyfriend, Steffen. I ordered a Milchkaffe and a pizza. When I was done eating I had a heart attack. No shit.

It was very mild. I didn’t pass out or fall down or anything but it was certainly very uncomfortable, not to mention scary. Symptoms included numbing pain on the underside of my left arm that spread out across my chest, difficulty breathing and breaking out in heavy sweat. I could feel my heart beating very forcefully in my chest. Angela suggested going to the doctor if it got worse. A few minutes later I stood up and said that something was wrong and that I had to get out of there.

I had this feeling for a couple days before but didn’t think it had anything to do with my heart. I was sick on the 26th with a stomach flu and spent the next few days in bed. I had thought that I got a pinched a nerve from lying in bed for 3 days. When the feeling in my arm first appeared, it was accompanied with fever so I thought it was a combination of pinched nerve and residual flu symptoms. On Friday I went back to work and while at my desk I had the same thing happen; pain in my arm and slight fever. I went home, took a pain reliever and it was better within the hour.

Saturday was different. After I had gotten outside where it was cooler, I had already started to feel a bit better but it was still really uncomfortable. We said goodbye to our friends and headed to an emergency station. They weren’t open yet but when we explained what the problem was they let us come in while they called a doctor. After the 30 minutes it took for the doctor to figure out how to turn on the EKG machine (ahem…switch on the powerstrip) and crack my back (he was a chiropractor; Oh you got a heart attack? I’ve got just the thing. Crik-ik-ik-ik), we finally got a read-out. By this time I was feeling much better, no doubt because of my spinal realignment (sarcasm). The doctor looked at it and said that the heart was beating steadily and strong but that something about it looked funny.

He took us to the real emergency room where they took some blood, did some quick tests and another EKG. They determined there was indeed something wrong and that I would be spending New Year’s Eve in intensive care hooked up to a heart monitor. A few minutes later they had their heart specialist come in and do a heart catheterization to determine if there was any blockage on the heart that needed to be removed immediately.

For those that don’t know, a heart catheterization, in its simplest form, entails making a small incision in your groin into the vain that leads directly up to your heart. They stick a long thin hose into the vain and shove it all the way up and around into the heart. You’d think there would be a shorter way to the heart but I was not in the mood, condition or position to argue. They spray some dye or something into the heart and with the use of an x-ray machine they can determine if there is some blockage somewhere causing the problem. I was pretty scared but in hindsight there was no reason to be as it is a really simple procedure.

They found no blockage whatsoever. Now they are trying to determine what caused it (probably a blood clot) and why (still unknown). I’ve had numerous EKGs and blood tests. Yesterday I had an echocardiogram which showed everything being OK. Tomorrow I am supposed to have an internal echocardiogram which entails putting wires and hoses down my throat into my stomach in order to get a good look at the backside of my heart. This will help to determine if there is possibly a small hole in the wall between the left and right ventricles. This may be what has caused the blood clot. If there is a hole, I don’t know what the next step is.

They said that it is probably not caused by my lifestyle. I’m only 29. I rarely eat fast-food. I eat pretty healthy. I’m not a heavy drinker. I should get some more exercise. I’m a bit overweight but not obese by any stretch of the word. The one bad thing I do is smoke, but not heavily. I can stretch a pack of smokes out for about 2 weeks. That is if I buy my own. Anybody that knows me, knows that I am the biggest cigarette moocher there is. However, as any doctor will tell you, smoking a little is already too much. I bet you can guess what my New Year’s resolution is.

More to come…

As soon as we got back from our Christmas visit to M’s parents, I got violently ill. This included vomiting all night long and lots more extreme bodily functions. I’m feeling somewhat better but I still have a slight headache and fever. The worst part about being sick all night are the fucked up dreams you have while hallucinating between trips to the bathroom. Recently I have been reading the latest issue of Visions and a book about European history. This influenced my hallucinations in such a way that conversations in my head sounded like indi-record store hipsters talking about European events:

Hipster 1: Man, anyone that signs to the Magna Carta is giving up a part of their soul. Such corporate wanks!
Hipster 2: Pffff…totally.

Ugh, I’m starting to feel sick again.

Apparently Germans are way into their Christmas trees

The survey in Thursday’s Focus weekly news magazine found 75 percent of Germans could not contemplate Christmas without their beloved “Tannenbaum”, the traditional tree many cover lavishly with candles, lights and decorations.

But only 65 percent said spending time with relatives was also essential for a good Christmas.

Hmm, we don’t have one.

CNN has an interesting article about Sylt. I have been there a few times. It is close enough that you can make a nice day trip out of it. Seeing as it can get kind of expensive, you can save some money on hotels that way. There is some interesting architecture and history there as well. Oh, and the beaches. Very nice. In contrast to American beaches, topless sunbathing is allowed in most of Europe and no one cares. I just thought I would throw that out there. I wonder what kind of google results I’ll get.

I went to see Recartney last night. They are a great Beatles cover band. They passed the audition.

I was just looking at what the most popular search terms are this week at the G to the Double O to the EL Ee and I decided to experiment with the Google search engines. It is blatant trickery I know, but I just wanted to see what effect, if any, it has on my site’s traffic. We’ll call it googlebait. As you can see, I’ve started with the title already but I’m gonna try to take it a little further.

So anyway I was having this crazy dream about Wendie Jo Sperber, who was in Bosom Buddies with Tom Hanks and she was telling me her cool idea about getting a face transplant. I was all like, yeah whatever, when suddenly Dita Von Teese walked in with some crips and started thugging it up crazy, shooting the place up like gangbusters and doing the crip walk. I said to my girl Charlize Theron, “Is it me or is Anna Benson totally hot?” Charlize said, “Oh Yeah, totally.” Suddenly the scenery and landscape changes and I’m alone with James Blunt and Cynthia Watros and they are wishing me a Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa!!! I couldn’t take it anymore so I split to a club and ended up hanging out with John Lennon and Richard Pryor. They started exchanging crazy cocaine stories and started arguing about who was the biggest loser. We couldn’t decide so we called Reggie Bush in from next door to settle the argument. The scene changes again and Lennon and I are in the middle of Strawberry Fields tripping on some crazy acid. Lennon says to me,
“Did you see the new King Kong yet?”
“That the one with Naomi Watts?,” says I.
“Yeah.”
“Nah, I don’t know. I don’t want to ruin what memories I have left of the original”
“Look, all I’m saying, is give it a chance.”

This is just an experiment. If you land at this post while searching for something else, look around. Or split. I don’t care.

I finally got my Aufenthaltserlaubnis from the Ausländerbehörde today. I could have picked it up earlier but I didn’t have time and they are open at really inconvenient hours. It was extended until the end of November 2008. Previously I was required to work full-time for my current employer. If I were to quit or lose my job, I would need to either find a new one, enroll at university or leave Germany. With the visa just issued, I can theoretically work for whomever hires me. Not that I am actively searching, but it is nice to have options. Of course with the current unemployment situation in Germany, I’m thankful to have a job at all.

There is a campaign here in Germany with billboards and TV spots showing typical and atypical Germans with the slogan, “Du bist Deutschland“. I never took the time to look into it further because, as much as I like it here, ich bin nicht Deutschland. So imagine my surprise when there was an article about it in the New York Times with the headline, “Germans Told to Cheer Up. ‘Why Should We?’ Some Say.”

Discuss.

Here is an interesting article in the Sunday New York Times about some of the problems being faced in Germany concerning the integration of Turkish/Muslim immigrants and how their traditions and values clash with those of a modern Germany. Most disturbing is how women in many of these cultures are treated and how German lawmakers, in the interest of touting multi-culturalism, are apprehensive of doing anything about it. Sad but true. I’m all for multi-culturalism. It makes life interesting. However, to say you believe in human rights and then do nothing to enforce them for a certain part of the population, is basically saying that they don’t mean anything. That’s the whole point.