GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

I’m really a nice guy. I strive to get along with all peoples. At least it wasn’t as bad as pissing through my mail slot. I was sitting at my computer and I heard noises in front of my house. I opened my front door to find a few of our potted plants stacked up directly in front of our door and a guy with a shit-eating grin caught red-handed. Due to the way the pots were arranged, this means if we were to nonchalantly walk out our door tomorrow, we would probably have tripped over the flowers and hurt ourselves. Maybe, maybe not.

I just hate it when people fuck with my shit. Especially when it is the beautiful little urban garden that M. spent so much time planting. Goofy pranks, okay, but if it leads to injury? Not cool.

Anyway, I had some strong words with the guy, and then told him to fuck off. This resulted in a bit of a Mexican standoff. The cool part is that I can yell at the asshole in English and it really freaks him out.

And wouldn’t you know it, not 5 minutes later, I hear noises again. I open the door and catch his jack-off friend doing the same thing. I chased him off as well.

Now, I’m writng this.

And waiting…..