Notes from Germany
I am an American expat living in Germany. It's a far away land on the other side of the ocean. It's interesting and often weird here. If you read this and want to comment then email me at nate(the at symbol)chillmost.com. If you find any spelling or grammar mistakes, you can keep them.
Friday, September 24, 2004
I work with a bunch of scientists. This is their idea of humor:
From a chemistry exam at the University of Washington (this was an 'A')It is pretty funny though.
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Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat).
Answer:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls will go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."
Monday, September 20, 2004
I am not a journalist
Today M and I went to the Kulturfrühstuck which means literally, "culture breakfast." This was an event put on by the Ausländerbeirat which is the advisory council for foreigners here in Lüneburg. Umm, it was okay. The food was excellent. It was a pot-luck type of thing and I ate some awesome food. I'm on some crazy eggplant kick now so I was chuffed to see it prepared there in about 4 different ways. Yum. There was a great Opera singer, a so so tango dancing couple, a belly dancer (Grrrr) and an asian woman karaokeing the hell out of "I Will Survive" while jumping on the tables and dancing provocatively for the Mayor and others (Hmmmm). There was also a gospel choir that was, well, really really white. Don't get me wrong, they were good. They could sing in harmony and carry the notes but it was so lacking in soul. So Lawrence Welk. It was, shall we say, unsettling.At one point I was introduced to the lady organizing the thing and it was made known that I was American. She was really excited about that.
"Oh I should have introduced you to the crowd"
"Uh, no that's alright."
After that I went to get a cup of coffee and she cornered me.
"Are you a journalist?"
"Umm, no."
"Oh, you are?"
"I am not a journalist."
Then she proceeded to introduce me to the mayor and city council of Lüneburg and other politicos.
"This is Nate. He's an American journalist living in Lüneburg."
"Uh, Hi. I'm not a journalist. Nice to meet you."
I didn't really know what else to say. In hindsight I could have cracked a joke about not voting for them. The joke being that I can't vote here. Ha! The look on their face made it clear that they didn't know what to say either. So I busted out my secret ninja vanishing trick AKA turning around and walking away and got my coffee. I'm not really comfortable in those kind of situations. I'm not really sure what kind of situation that was, but I just wasn't feelin' it. I was glad to leave. Dude, I am so not a journalist.
Discontent with unification sweeps eastern Germany - World - www.smh.com.au
Discontent with unification sweeps eastern Germany
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Arr Matey! 'Tis International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Blow me down! Also in German!
